I’ve been going to the gym long enough now that I’m starting to notice trends and regulars. Being the gregarious and sociable chap I am, I know all of them intimately and expect to be a godparent to their children.

There’s red, insane rpm guy, big booty red, waves her arms around on the elliptical lady, the distinguished gentleman, hot old lady, impossibly black hair lady, and guy who reminds me of the produce man at Hugo’s.

I wonder what they’d call me? Sweaty guy who mouths the words and plays the drums on the bike for no apparent reason?